Monday, May 20, 2013

Granni

Carolyn "Cari" Ruth Peterson Jackson
June 25, 1935 ~ May 19, 2013


This past weekend started like any other.  Relaxing Friday, chores/family fun time on Saturday and Sunday is Church.  At church this week, the theme seemed to be temples.  I took it as a "time to go to the temple, Amber" sort-of a message.  I didn't realize how it was preparing me for the news I'd get.

About an hour after church, I resolved myself to begin to get caught up on the blog.  I still needed to finish writing about Z & K's wedding, among other things.  I used to do this on Sundays while the rest of the family napped.  A very peaceful activity for me.  Then, my Mom & sister tried to call and text, but my phone was in the other room.  Greg woke up to get it and saw the "911 call now" text.  I knew something happened to someone.

I was lucky enough to go through almost 30 years on this earth with all four of my grandparents living.  I was EVEN more lucky to have a good relationship with all of them.  I 'regularly' called (a.k.a. once-a-month -ish) to check-in with them, especially with my Grandmas (because Grandmas always relay the information).  When I saw the text, I knew one of the four was gone; my mind automatically went to my Grandpa, since he was recently diagnosed with Dementia.  So, when my Mom broke the news that is was Granni, I was shocked.  Greg had to guide me back to the couch and then I had to calmly ask what had happened.  Basically, she passed peacefully during her sleep (the best guess is something with her heart).

So, a day later, I'm still in shock.  Flying just me to Utah is as much as driving the whole family out, so Greg is able to take Bereavement and be there for me, and the rest of the family.  We start the drive tomorrow, we'll be there sometime Wednesday--- with her funeral, and such, over the weekend (hopefully).

Granni is incredible at making each of us feel loved and special; even though there was a lot of us.  She is spunky and full of life.  She is so talented.  My kids and I all have things she made for us and now they are extra special because of this parting.  I'm not sad for her; because of the Gospel, the Holy Ghost has confirmed to me that she is peaceful, happy, not in pain, and still, present in my (and the rest of my families) life.  I'm sad for Grandad, my Dad, his sisters, their spouses, us grandkids and the great-grandkids missing her physical presence for this short time.    I'm sad that I didn't send her Mother's Day card out it time.  I'm sad that she didn't physically meet Luke.  I'm sad that I didn't call more or that I won't be able to call her again.

With the sad comes the happy. I'm so grateful for the memories:  many Christmases in Logan, eating Life & Green Jello with Carrots, receiving my graduation blanket, Granni & Grandad dropping me off at school, coming up for General Conference weekends, introducing them to Greg on one of those weekends ("so this is the guy who's important"), being in the temple together, saying 'oh brother' or 'eee-gads', calling for advice, receiving the {baby blankets} and {presents} for my kids, playing games and watching her competitive spirit, seeing them TWICE in Texas (once for a reunion and the other for my aunt's wedding).  In the pictures above, Greg sneakily took a picture of Granni and I staying warm in hotel blankets.  Even though, we're not posing for this picture, I'm so grateful to have it.  She made me feel safe and warm (and even laughed at me when I tried to stay awake with everyone else).  I'm so grateful that I did call and know, from her own words, that she was grateful for those calls, and grateful for me.

Every time I create something, I'll think of her because I know that's part of her in me.  Hopefully, Jared and Annabelle will have a couple solid memories of her, so I'm going to do my best to teach my children to emulate this amazingly compassionate, and stubbornly fiesty woman.

See you later, Granni.  We love you.

4 comments:

  1. Awesome, thanks for posting this! Love you!

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  2. Evil!!! Grr!!! This will be the third time I've tried to comment...

    Anyway, thank you for this post. I needed to read it today. :)

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  3. Such awesome words. Thank you for this. The picture collage is fantastic. Granni would love it! Love you!

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  4. A very loving tribute. What a woman!

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